028: Navigating Business Through Grief: My Experience With Pregnancy Loss and Turning Heartache Into Hope

Jen Thyrion: Hey there, I'm Jen Thyrion and I'm so glad you're here. I'm a former nine to fiber that dove into entrepreneurship eight years ago with zero business experience. I'm a wife, mama of two young girls, boutique owner, jewelry designer, and now the proud owner and coach leading GoldieLinks permanent jewelry.

I have a passion to empower fellow business base. This podcast is made to equip you with everything. You need to succeed from actionable marketing steps to to digging deep on your mindset. I know firsthand the heart, hard work, and let's be real, at times a struggle that makes up this amazing journey. You want to know what has enabled me to shine the brightest?

Coaching plus community. Here at Goldie Links, we share openly, educate, and lift each other up. Expect to get linked with fellow PJ owners that will do just that, sprinkled with plenty of fun along the way. Competition is an old school thought and connection is the way. Get ready to feel inspired. Welcome to the Goldie links podcast.

Hey there. Did you know that we offer handmade permanent jewelry supplies? Go to Goldie link supplies. com to view our beautiful chains, connectors, bangles, and more, including our non permanent stretchy bracelets that are available to you for wholesale. Everything is created by our tribe of mama makers.

What is a mama maker? Stay at home moms that create on their own time between raising their children, serving as a self care creative outlet and supporting their families. Your items come with signage on how these supplies are made along with gemstone property info as each gemstone has a special meaning.

If you want to level up your business with handmade supplies, not made by a machine, but made by hand with love, then check it out at goldilynxsupplies. com. Now onto the show. Hey guys, I'm doing a personal episode and it might be a tough one, I'm not going to lie, but I feel like it's necessary to talk about.

So this is really off the cuff and so just so you know that. Okay, I want to talk about Your business and what happens when something happens to you, your family, your health, something happens where you are unable to work essentially, or you're just going through a tough personal time. So it kind of goes back to my last personal episode talking about outsourcing and setting up systems, which I feel are so important to put into place.

I, I feel like so strongly about it now, obviously, or just thinking about it more now, having made that episode, what, three weeks ago, four weeks ago. So at the time I made that episode, I was pregnant. I am no longer pregnant. I, this is what's hard to talk about, but I know a lot of women out there can relate.

And that's why I want to talk about it because I have two beautiful girls. If you don't know already. They're four and six. Goldie and Harper. Before I had Harper, I had a miscarriage. And when I first had that, Mike, that first miscarriage, I was just totally, totally shocked. I was just like, what, how did this happen?

Like, I remember it was actually, my husband went hunting. And I hope this is none of this is TMI. And if this is triggering to anybody, please stop listening because I know how hard it is if you are going through this yourself and it's hard to listen to, if you are trying to start a family and it's been difficult, I know I can very much understand how you feel.

So please, I want to put that out there before I continue my story. So before I had Harper, I started bleeding when my husband was hunting and I didn't literally know what to do. I freaked out so bad I brought myself to the ER. They did a test and, you know, at that point, I mean, I knew exactly how many weeks I was.

And if you know, and if you've been there and you've been trying, you try to get pregnant, you know, exactly what, you know, what dates things happen. When you were ovulating all the things, right? Like, this is like, this is just how it goes. And so it was the story of like, well, we're seeing that you're only measuring it's about six weeks.

And sometimes there's not a heartbeat at that time. Like maybe you just don't know your dates. And I'm like, no, I do know my dates. I should be like eight and a half weeks. And so I knew what was happening. And, and so there you go. That was my first go. And this is the thing when I, when I went through that.

I felt so it was crazy because when I actually started talking about it and sharing with because of course, right away, I was like, so excited. I mean, it was our first try to get pregnant and we got pregnant. It was like, Oh, you know, it was just so amazing. And of course I, you know, like maybe some typically people would wait to tell some, you know, that you're so many weeks that you're pregnant.

I did not wait. Okay. I was telling all my friends, everybody and their neighbor, like it's okay. And so then when I lost the baby, okay, Of course I had to tell people, right? And I could not believe how many people shared their stories of either they went through a miscarriage or they knew somebody very close that had many miscarriages.

Like it blew my mind. Like I had no, literally people in my family that had miscarriages. I had no idea because I mean, again, it's not something that we go around wearing on a t shirt. But then again, I just feel, and this is also, I guess, eight years ago at this point or seven years ago, almost eight, maybe that I had the first miscarriage.

So like at that time, I don't think that maybe it was spoke about as much and maybe as it is now, but I still feel like it's not something that we want to share. It's hard to share. It's, it's really hard. That's why I feel compelled to share at this point in my life of what I've been through, because. I just feel like a, you never know what someone's going through and to understand that, but also this is very business related and I'll get there, but this is something that I feel is also a lesson in trusting and what is meant for you.

And there's so many lessons in this for me and myself, and then I hope that you can take from this, whether it be this situation in your life, whether it be something else that is just not really. Working out for you, right? It's like, the way I see this is that like, rejection is kind of redirection, right?

It's like, well, I always thought that there was another baby for me and I'm really, which, okay, so let me move on to my story and I'll get there because I kind of jumping around. So then I got pregnant with Harper and obviously fearful that whole pregnancy because I had gone through the miscarriage and I only, I actually got pregnant with Harper about three months after the miscarriage.

So had this beautiful baby Harper, right? And then our next try was Goldie actually. So I had Harper and Goldie back to back and then after Goldie. So after Goldie, it was so funny cause we had Goldie and Goldie, if you're a mom and you've had, you know, you have your babies. If you have more than one, you know that.

Every baby has pretty much been different, right? I had Harper and it's hard because you're a first time mom. Okay. So you don't know what the heck's going on. I was surprised by postpartum, like kind of like a little bit of postpartum blues, how I felt having a baby was very new to me. I mean, like, honestly, it was just like such a new phase of life.

Right. I was surprised how like lonely I sort of felt with a newborn and just my change of lifestyle. And like, there was so many like newness that came with obviously adding a human being, a little human being to your life. Um, but all in all, when I look back, Harper was actually a pretty easy baby. Right.

But I didn't look at it that way because I was just, this was so brand new to me. Well, then comes Goldie and Goldie. No, she's like, I am a difficult baby. I'm going to like, I'm going to give you a run for your money. You know, here I had Harper Harper's only 22 months older than Goldie. So she was 22 months when Goldie was born.

So I feel like I had just really gone through it, right? Like I had just had a baby. No, Goldie was like, yep, nope. I'm brand new. And I'm going to show you like, you know, nothing. And so it was a really like difficult year sleep and all the things. It was just a very, and I talk about this in my past podcast episodes.

cast, it's like, I talk about: 2020

You know what I mean? It was very, like, I was just so lost and just what am I doing with my life? And the second baby is like taking me, you know, giving me a run for my money and what's happening. So my point is, okay, I have Goldie. I'm in the thick of it. Okay. And I found out I was pregnant when she was like, not even nine months old and I was shocked.

Like we were like, how did this happen? Like, we literally don't know how it happened. We went over it so many times and so shocked. But of course, like, Oh my gosh, like this is happening. And just thinking about, you know, like very, very scared, but of course excited because for me, I always wanted a third, I never thought that Goldie was my last baby.

I never did. I never did. I just had her. And I was like, in the beginning, my husband was like, no, no, no to a third. And then he started coming around to it. And. Then he was eager for a third, right? So anyway, we get pregnant with this oops, baby, basically. Right. And total shock and lost that baby always around the same time.

. April. It was like early in: 2023

And for me, I don't really have a problem getting pregnant. I have a problem with the baby sticking apparently, you know what I mean? So it's like, for me, I was just like, so shocked after we lost that first baby, that was an oops baby. We did wait a little bit cause we weren't ready. But once we started trying and we were like almost trying for a year and just wasn't, nothing was happening.

And then finally got pregnant with this baby in April. And I took a pregnancy test and I actually. was traveling to go train a new Goldie girl. When I had the franchise, I was training a Goldie girl in Pennsylvania and I got, I was going to the bathroom before I was getting on the plane to go see her and I was bleeding and I was so devastated, but that was the earliest miscarriage.

It was literally like a week after I took the test. So that was also just hard to move on and go do this training and, you know, and, and just, and mourn. And although it was so grateful, that was a very, again, very, very, the earliest miscarriage I've ever had, but it's so crazy. And if, again, I say this because I'm assuming a lot of you can relate.

If you have children, it's like, once you find out you're pregnant, your whole life changes. Um, it just completely changes. Your plans change, your future looks different. Um, and so even, even the earliest of miscarriage is, is just grief. It's just, it's, it's a loss, you know, I mean, so we then get pregnant again later last year.

So five months later, I get pregnant again. And the same thing happens around the same time, like eight weeks or so I miscarry. So, and this was right around Halloween last year, actually. And so that was that, that time I had said, If this one doesn't stick, this is it because I just have to close the door, you know what I mean?

I can't, I can't keep going like this because it's just, it's really hard mentally to go through, you know what I mean? And, and just emotionally, and so we lost that baby and, but still it was so funny because this is why, like, I think it's so important to like, Your gut's going to tell you, like, even when people say, like, having one more baby or completing your family, it's like, when you know, you know, right?

And so at the time, even though I said that once I lost the baby, I was like, there's still this little part of me that's willing to try again. You know what I mean? Like, there's just like, I don't know, I feel like there could be one more try, you know? So we would go on and off talking about it because as time goes on, you know, like I'm getting older, my girls are getting older.

You have this vision of how you want your family to be and how much room you want between your kids. And as women, I think we've all done the math, right? Whether or not you're trying to get pregnant or you're meeting somebody or you do the math. And you're like, I remember when I broke up with my ex in my twenties and I thought I was so old and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm 25.

Like by the time I find somebody else, and then maybe I'm going to have to date him for two years and then I won't have a baby until my thirties. 30s and that wasn't my plan. And like, you know, you just kind of like think of all the, like what you had an idea of is like what your expectations are for your life.

spring, this past, like this: 2024

We can like start traveling with the girls. I mean, goalie's going to be four soon. Like we, you know what I mean? I feel like we're entering this new era. Like let's just enjoy our girls and not, you know, maybe we just need to say, Hey, this is our family. We are good with it, you know? And. Let's just call it a day.

And I was kind of on the fence, but not really. It's one of those things. Like you just, you smile and nod, but you're like, Oh, I don't know. So sure enough, we, and it is honestly, though, I have to say it is the best, like one of the best moments. My friend, Ashley, I talk about her a lot. She was on the podcast.

You might've met her. She was at PJX with me. She was my first Goldie girl. One of my best friends. She actually came in town to do an event with me and just to kind of like sit down and do work together and hang out together, obviously. And just, you know, so we did this thing called Mystical Autumn Fair.

I put it on with Jen from Cast Rock Families, who is also going to be on the podcast soon here. And, uh, she was my second welder. And so we, she landed and it was so funny because she's like, yeah, I'm kind of late for my period. I'm like, funny you say that. I'm getting my period like tomorrow, but there could have been a chance something happened, you know, and she's like, Oh my gosh, well, let's both, if we don't get, we don't get our period by the day after the event, let's take a pregnancy test.

I'm like, okay. So the morning after the event, we literally took a test and we record, we actually like recorded it because I was like, if someone of us is pregnant, we have to get this recorded. Right. So I, we had on the table, we flipped over the same time and mine said pregnant and I died because seriously, I didn't, I really wasn't expecting that.

I'm not kidding. I was not expecting that. I knew it was a possibility, but I really wasn't expecting it. And honestly, part of me, I just had these mixed emotions right away. I'm like, Oh my God, what did I do? Da da da. I'm not going to lie. Cause I'm talking to you guys. PJX Like I did the math because of course, if you also are a freak like me, you know, obviously right away you check where your due date would be, right?

So my due date would have been like July, or sorry, June 15th. And knowing PJX was in June last year, I was like, Oh my God, I'm going to be like super pregnant. Like, but I'm going, like, I'm already planning in my head. Like I'm going to get in the car. I'm going to take my husband with me. We're driving. Then we're going to just make this happen.

Like I'm not missing PJX, even if I'm super pregnant, like that was one of my first thoughts. I'm not going to lie to you guys. Which is so crazy. But anyway, and then, you know, obviously I have these future business plans, which I want to share with you very soon, kind of what's in, in the works with me, which I'm excited to share with all you guys.

are going on, I feel like in: 2025

Your life changes. You have new plans. You now imagine, like, something completely different. Now I have a baby in tow with all the things I have to keep going on. Like, it's happening, right? But of course, I was so wary to be excited. So that was part of it, too. I was like, I was protecting my heart so much because I know I had already experienced four miscarriages.

I really was so conflicted this time, and I kept telling my husband, I'm like, I don't know why, I just feel like, I just feel so conflicted. And he's like, I think you're just worried to be excited. And I was like, yeah, I think so. And sure enough, I actually went to hip hop dance class one evening. If you look at my stories, I usually share my adult hip hop class on my stories on Instagram.

I went to one night and I came home and I was bleeding. So I knew it was the end. And. It was really weird. And I told my husband that night, I was like, I had no emotion, you know? And he's like, God, are you just like closed off to this? Are you just used to this or what? Cause I feel like you don't even like, there's nothing coming from you.

I can't read you. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I just feel, I don't know. I just feel blank, you know? And then the next morning I just hit me and I was like, Devastated. And I think this time it's because, and this is the hardest part. So this is like, because not only of course, losing this baby, but I'm letting go, I'm letting go of a dream, a dream too, that I had plans that I had, excuse me, excuse me.

Oh my gosh. I'm letting go of a dream of like. A dream that I had and that I, I always imagined like three kids for some reason. I know I can't guarantee this, but I always imagined a boy. I don't know why. I just always have. And I don't know if you guys ever had readings. I know it's like something you take with a grain of salt.

But anytime I've had like a tarot reading or something, they'd always be like, Oh, there's a boy in your future. There's a boy in your future. It's just so crazy. And I don't know if it was like, I just felt destined for it. I felt destined for it. I would literally, this is getting deep guys, and I'm like really sharing a lot with you, like talking to my BFF here, but it's like, I would literally write in my notes, in my phone, and speak to my future child.

But I know, And I had to get a procedure to remove the tissue because it wasn't moving. And if you've been through a miscarriage before, I've passed it naturally. It's very painful and there's uncontrollable kind of like obviously bleeding for a couple hours. So being in permanent jewelry and doing events, I just can't plan that.

I don't know when that's going to happen. So I kept getting like, I actually didn't schedule myself anything the first weekend of November because I was like, okay, what if this happens? I don't want to be at someone's house. I don't want to be an event. And then it didn't happen. I'm like, kept waiting and waiting.

And like I had another ultrasound and all the things. And like the same situation happened. This is what's hard this time too. It like, like it happened kind of before as I go in and I think I'm seven weeks and like, I'm pretty much almost eight weeks, which is always around the time that this happens.

And ultrasound says six weeks, two days. Well, okay. You might be off with your days and We, there might not be a heartbeat yet. Like, why don't you just wait, you know, and like, we'll take an ultrasound again in five days and see like, if there's any growth and we'll know for sure. So of course those five days, Oh God, it is so hard.

It's like, I kept going back and forth. I'm like, how do I really feel? What's saying, what's my gut saying? Like, is this baby really there? And I'm just, is this like a miracle and I'm totally off with my dates. And, and then sure enough, I mean, what I knew kind of all along, but I didn't want to believe it, obviously it wasn't happening.

So. Long story, I guess short, I got a procedure a few days ago to remove the tissue and that night before and the day of and during the procedure, I was just a wreck, like an emotional wreck, like more than I was last time or, you know, I mean, every time is devastating. It doesn't get easier every time, but it's almost like, okay, you've been through it before.

So it's like, I don't know how to say this. It's like easier in a weird way because you like have been there, done that. So you like, you're like accustomed to the emotions, but it's not like, it's obviously less devastating. So, but I kept asking myself like, God, why am I so emotional at this time? But it's like, and because of what kept coming to my mind is that it's the, this I'm closing the door.

It's the end of an era. Because every time I would have a miscarriage, I would know that there can always be next time. You know, there's always next time. Like, there's always hope, hope, hope, hope, right? And not to say I'm hopeless. I feel like I could try again, but I don't want to try again. Like, I don't have a left in me.

I don't have the heart for it. I can't handle it emotionally or physically. And honestly, it just doesn't even at this point make sense for my life and for where, what I want to do. And it just doesn't feel right, like I feel like something's changed and I know that this is the end and that's hard pill to swallow because if you especially like I have actually recently had this conversation interviewing funny enough permanent jewelers and when we talk about stuff after we got get done talking, this is a common thing.

And this has come up a couple times where someone's like trying to get pregnant. It's not happening or really wanting that part of your life to happen and it's not happening. It's so difficult, you know, because you just have this dream and this idea and your wants and you're trying to do everything you can to make it happen.

And it's just not happening. And so it's, it's just a closing a door on something. And. I remember telling my cousin and I was like, gosh, like, I don't know why I'm so emotional this time, you know, and it's just, but it's not just the loss. It's the loss of the, of the dream. It's the loss of my plans. Like, it's the loss of what I ideal I had.

And she's like, honestly, Jen, it's just grief. Like, and her just saying that I was like, God, it's so true. It's grief. Like no matter what, if you lose a, lose a loved one or, you know, you're again, losing a dream or losing like a pregnancy or, you know, it's just grief. Right. It's saying goodbye to something that you loved essentially.

And, and that's hard. It's so hard. And. I mean, honestly, she is somebody who does not have kids and there was a part of her life where she wanted children. And then she got to a point where she realized that it's probably not going to happen for her. And she's like, I honestly had a set, I, I grieved. And she's like, I got upset and emotional.

And when I realized that and knew that this isn't going to happen for me, it was also the same concept. Like it's closing this door. of something that you thought was a possibility or you could picture for your future and realize, okay, this isn't happening for me. So if you can relate, but this, how this all relates to permanent jewelry is that when I was going through this, right.

And obviously this is like after my conversation I had about outsourcing and, you know, all the things, of course, feeling overwhelmed and setting up systems and making things, you know, work properly in your business and, and, you know, flow. And it's like, okay. And I remember I was actually in Jenna Kutcher's mastermind, the first business mastermind, when I talked about doing masterminds and retreats and all the things like Jenna, she actually experienced a few miscarriages.

She was very vocal about on her, on her social media before she now has also has two girls. And she had two or three miscarriages before her first and she was also very, very sick during her first pregnancy. So whether it was also that, but along with her first pregnancy, there'll be times where she just couldn't work, you know?

And so I remember her talking a lot about outsourcing at the time and just being like, when someone can't run your business, what are you going to do when you're a one woman show and you are your business, what are you going to do? So I say this because it brings to mind for me and to also just. Keep this in mind for myself.

If something again, like heaven forbid something were to happen and like life happens where you just either have to grieve something, you're not feeling well yourself, you know, a family issue comes up, like anything can happen, right? What do you do if that happens in your business? And just, just think about that.

And how can you take care of yourself? Right. For me, it's like, I obviously had to keep the show going. Nothing changed, you know, but what I did do, I, I am a somebody who will, I mean, I can admit that I'm a workaholic, but I also, at the same time, I love my work. So I, I'm that person who like, I remember I was going to do an event on my birthday last year or this year, actually this past year, this best birthday.

And my husband's like, you literally are going to book a permanent jewelry event on your birthday. And I'm like, yeah, I think it'd be fun. He's like, Oh my God, like spend it with, like, do something with the family and do this. And I'm like, Well, I can do that later. It's only like three or four hours. Like I'm just that person who is like, yep.

You know, anytime, like I'll, I'll take it. Like, let's just, yeah. Like I want to work all the time. Cause I love what I do, but I definitely took more. I, you know, that's the beauty of having a business, having said that. But of course, like if you have, you know, where you have to be making so much money, then that obviously this is going to come into play with affecting that.

Right. So, you know, for me, I decided to take off again. I kind of. When I found out that this pregnancy wasn't happening and I was right at the tail end of a month, right? So I was still planning my events for the next month. And I did decide to take a weekend off, you know, when I, I, I normally would not because I had just taken the middle of October off because I was in Michigan for fall break.

So I was rearing to go and I'm like, okay, you know, but I was like, you know what, I have to, I just, it was so hard to say no, because I knew I was leaving money on the table and I knew that, you know, but I'm like, I just have to do this for my mental health. Like I have to just step away for a little bit.

But these are the things that I want to just put out there. Like, obviously it would have been nice to know somebody who I had trained possibly that knows the basics of permanent jewelry that could literally just take my things and go do an event for me. So speaking back to like that episode, I talk about outsourcing.

I talk about hiring like that's, you know, when you get to a point in your business where you're busy enough, where you feel like that's something like finding someone who doesn't like necessarily need to rely on it. But do you have like a family friend? Do you have a neighborhood, like, college student that like, you know, your daughter's friend, I don't know, like, you know, I'm trying to think of anyone, you know, your niece, your cousin, your sister, your, you know.

Someone who you can train who knows the basics that literally worst case scenario that you could call on to do if something were to happen, right? Or, you know, and again, this might not be for everybody. If you are, if you befriend people in your, you know, area fellow permanent jewelers. But if you did, and you felt close to a particular one where you felt like you could trust each other.

And even if it does not someone like in your immediate area, but someone who's far enough away, right. Where it's not really super competitive to you. If you don't feel great about this, but like someone where you can almost set up this, you know, this agreement that like, Hey, and don't be wrong. It's not always going to work out because someone might be booked.

And then they can't do it, but it's like, Hey, if something were to happen, would you be willing to do an event for me? If I can't and you're open and we would work it out, or either I pay you hourly, I give you a commission, whatever, because they would just be taking your things and doing an event. Like I'm just kind of spitballing some ideas because We are all human.

We're business owners. We are human and things are going to happen. So what's going to happen when things happen, right? Like who's going to run your business. And especially if you don't know how long something might happen, you know, heaven forbid again, an emergency or something that brings you out of town or, you know, who knows what, these are just things to, I guess, consider because when I was going through it and feeling really, really terrible emotionally and didn't really want, I just wanted to be home.

I wanted to be with my family. I didn't. I mean, and I'm the person who loves, again, doing permanent jewelry. Um, I love my customers. I love seeing people. I mean, I love getting out, but I was in a phase where I'm like, I just, that was the last thing I want to do. I just wanted to curl up on the couch with my family, stay home, do comfortable things and, and not push myself.

You know, I knew. That I just wanted to take care of myself. Okay. So if you cannot, and that's my next thing is like, if you cannot outsource your events per se, right. Could you also, I mean, I just, I mean, I think as women, we have a really hard time asking for help. I mean, I know that's for me. I think I've gotten better over time, but even if it's your spouse, if it's like you have a parent nearby, if you have a neighbor, if you have a friend, like if it's not your actual events, Just literally trying to take care of yourself in different ways.

If you already have kids, what your responsibilities are, just saying like, Hey, like, you know, I need some extra help with the kids so I can have some time. Has someone come over, do some play dates? Like someone like, you know, just talk to your spouse and be like, Hey, I'm just, you know, I need a little extra help.

I'm not going to be, I'm not a commission for making dinners this week. Like whatever, whatever it is for you. Right. Like Whatever you need for yourself to take care of yourself. So if it's not help with your events, then is it help with just your housework? Is it actually like hiring a cleaner just to clean your house?

You know, just saying like, I just, I, you know, I could do it, but I really just need to take care of myself. Just considering these things of what I felt I needed and how I could have, like, made, even if I had to still tend to my business, how I can make other parts of my life easier that I didn't feel so overwhelmed and I could let myself heal a little bit or just be and just, you know, again, take care of myself.

The whole thing was setting up systems I talked about in the previous episode. I feel like that's so important when it comes to this, because honestly, like when I talked about, like for me, I know it was like fulfilling my orders, right? When I know everyone cannot relate to, but in some way it's like, even if you were to train someone to do permanent jewelry and you had a system of your, like how you ring things up or whatever, where it was easy to let someone know how to do it, right?

Where it wasn't just this like fly by the seat of your pants system where they're like, well, how do I do this? You know what I mean? There was definitely like, A system to things, a system to set up a system to ring up like that makes it easier to bring someone on last minute and be like, Hey, this is my system.

And hopefully easy enough to train. So saying like, if I were to go into like a really dire situation where I say I can't be here and I have to leave town or something, let's just think that way. It's like, well, I have a system now for my orders. So even if my orders came in, it wouldn't be like it was when I hired my last hire.

And trying to explain all these different things, like for her to like study all the gemstones and know which gemstone was what it's like, Nope, these are the codes when they come in, this code means this, and actually the training process would be literally like a half an hour versus 10 hours, like honestly, so it's just that those systems setting up or even let's say batching.

Okay. This is why batching is important. And for me, having the responsibility of the supplies, having the responsibility of the membership, which I love so dearly. This podcast, which I also love so dearly, batching things like a podcast episode, so I'm not thinking like, Oh man, I need to put an episode out next week.

I should record it like today. And it's like in three days away, right? Like, so if something does happen, knowing I have X amount of episodes batched where I don't have to worry about if life happens, I mean, you know, that I, yeah. I'm not scrambling and I'm not feeling guilty and I'm not behind in my work.

Right. Same thing with the membership. It's like, I have these trainings and I admittedly have not been able to fulfill some of them, putting them out on time because life stuff happens. So it was actually a lesson learned for me recently too. It's like, okay, I need to batch those. So I'm not like thinking, oh gosh, like.

I was supposed to put out this training last week and I was unable to do it because I'm three weeks behind schedule. So it's just things to be aware of, like to, like, even if it's social media posts for you, whether or not how much you get into email newsletters, like or your, or blog posts, it's like really having things set up.

You have so many that you're not always scrambling. And that comes down to going back to that episode about system. So if you haven't listened to that yet. It's a great one to listen to just because it's things to consider. And that's why it's like having a legit functioning business does require some planning and does require some like, you know, again, that's why it feels so overwhelming at times where like when people say I suck at social media or I like, I, I've not done this in forever.

It's like, because we do again, wear so many hats. And if really it's just us and we don't have an employee and we don't have someone else helping us. And you know, and again, as you know, there's certain things you feel that you can only do in your business. And if you're a business owner, most likely if you're like me, you're a little bit of a control freak because you're just so passionate about your business.

You want it to be how, you know, but there's things you have to realize that honestly people can do better than you. But also it's like. It's just, your business will not be able to be its best or function if you don't outsource. Because if you're growing, growing, growing as a business, you can't do all the things.

Like, that's just literally, it's crazy impossible. So like, once you expand and you're, you know, you're scaling and all the things are happening. Like for me, but there's certain things I know I can't outsource the podcast. No more would I want to, obviously I'm going to do the interviews and I'm going to be showing up on the podcast.

So that's why it's like the things you feel that only you can do, and then kind of locating the things that you know, that you could outsource, right? I know I could train someone to like pack and ship and I could train someone to weld. I really could. I mean, I. Prefer to be at my events. And I think a lot of my customers expect to see me, but I think that if I find the right person who really embodies my brand voice and like understands me as a business owner, that is, that can be outsourced technically.

Right. It can be, um, I can find somebody to check my email. I can find someone to help me batch social media and help with social media. Like these are things that. I can find assistance with, and it doesn't have to be me, right? So I guess these are just things to consider, like, and also just ask yourself, like, what would you do in a tough time, you know, and prepare yourself for that.

And it's just, it's helpful to know if you're at a place in your business and this is your, this is a business for you. It's not a side hustle. It's not something you do when you want to do. That's different. Like if you feel you could take a month off from doing this and it's no problem, that's amazing. I mean, that's what the beauty of this is.

industry and entrepreneurship is, is that you can make it how you want to make it. If you want to make it a full time gig, you can, if you don't want to, you don't have to. So it's, um, it's really just things to consider when it comes to outsourcing, help, self care when it comes to that. And like, what asked be not being afraid to ask for help.

And also too, if like, it's hard for you to communicate, say with customers, cause I have to say. Around that time too, it was really hard for me to answer messages. I don't know why. I just felt like it was just, everything felt so much more difficult because I was already dealing with so much myself that I felt like it just felt so draining and so overwhelming.

And, and honestly, not like I would go into detail because you don't want to do that because this is the thing too. Like if you're going to be like messaging people and saying like, Hey, so this is actually happening right now in my life. They're, they're going to like, you're putting your customer in a weird position.

If. feel like they, um, you know, you don't want to put guilt or shame or anything on them like to make, you know, or any responsibility for your emotions. Right. But I have, I, you know, been honest with customers to a certain extent and being like, you know, especially ones that I have, you know, known. And of course I'm like, Hey, I'm so sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

Like honestly, life stuff happened over here. I hope you understand. And then answer their question or do whatever, you know, need to do. And. And honestly, if it's something that's really backed up, you're like, Hey, I would like to make this up to you by giving you like 10 percent off when I see you, like, you know, something that you feel like maybe can make up for it.

Honestly, I didn't have to offer that. I'm just, I'm just putting that out there as a way to just, because the last thing people want is to feel ignored. Okay, so that is the worst thing you can do to a customer. So if they're like been waiting, like say they're really eager to get a bracelet from you and they DM you and be like, where are you next?

Or can I get an appointment? You don't respond for five days. They just feel like you don't care, you know, and they, they're going to just assume stuff in their own head. You know, if they're not hearing from you, right? So again, like maybe following that up with just being like, Hey, I super, I apologize. It is nothing like I'm just catching up with life.

It has been a little wild over here. And so anyway, just kind of trying to explain that rather than not even, you know, obviously apologizing or just going, you know, not apologizing and acknowledging that time has passed and that, and that basically it's not okay, but obviously you're human and it just reminds them you're human and things do happen, but having said that.

that we are businesses. So again, it humanizes you, but also there comes to a certain standard for the like, no, and trust. You want your customers to know that they can trust you, that you're going to answer them, that you're going to be there, that you care. So these are things that like, we're just playing around in my head, you know, and knowing, and being aware of that, not only my permanent jewelry customers, but my customers for the, you know, the supplies and my membership peeps and like all the things I feel obviously.

Tremendously grateful that I'm responsible for. So it's like, these are just the things that were running through my head that I wanted to share because I hope this can help you in some way. And also I think when it comes to like play, when it comes to relating this to business in another sense is like when I was talking earlier about Rejection being redirection.

I think sometimes when you're trying so hard for something and you just keep getting like the door closed, the door closed, or it's not working out and something's not feeling right. And that's why I say like going with your gut is like, I just feel as like, honestly, a lost art going with your gut, knowing your intuition, because.

That is always what I lead with and I'm grateful for my, to myself that I am like, that does come easier to me because I have to say like, you know, relating this situation of wanting to expand my family and realizing I have to just trust that it's just not in the cards for me, like it's just not, and I have to trust that.

And I. I'm using this as like, rather than having it always in the back of my mind that another child is in my future, it's, you know, it's closing a door. And I don't mean to sound that like in a morbid way, like, you know, but it's just like, it is, it is, it's just the end of an era for me. It's the end of like a hope.

I'm so grateful, of course, for my two beautiful girls, and there's so many other things in life that I'm looking forward to. And I'm trying to like, I'm not trying to, I am seeing what is possible, you know, for them and for me. And it doesn't, I have to trust in the rejection of this, do you know what I'm saying?

So even when it comes to your business, like, what do you feel that maybe something is always up against you? And that's actually how I felt about my boutique business. And it was a big, hard realization, like, and then gradually just start not feeling as great and fulfilling. And I'm like, okay. And that was a hard transition period.

I talk about my dark year of: 2021

Redirection. This is happening or I should say rejection. That's how I saw it. Rejection, rejection, rejection. And like, you know, me, even me and my friend, good friend, Tracy, we're looking for a brick and mortar. We are convinced we're going to open a boutique. It was like rejection, rejection, rejection. We could not find a brick and mortar space for the life of us.

things. And that was like in: 2019

th Goldie and I had a baby in: 2020

I don't see this brick and mortar. It's not happening. I actually see them a lot. I see them locking the doors. She's like, something's going to happen where they're going to lock the door and you can't get in. And I'm like, really? Like, what could that be? And then sure enough, COVID happened and everything had to shut down.

Isn't that funny? So, um, but anyway, I was just like, and again, I take those readings with a grain of salt, but I did leave there learning, feeling a little discouraged because. I was like, man, see, there's another rejection. Like what is going on? You know, I want this so bad and this is meant for me. And turns out it wasn't meant for me.

Redirection, redirection, COVID, redirection, baby. Number two and redirection. I found permanent jewelry about a year and a half after that. I guess you could say, well, no, sorry. It was a good two years after the rejection of the, of the boutique space. So it took a little bit of time. Um, but you know, it was like, So just, just like feeling like I, basically I'm trying to trust what is happening.

I'm trying to trust whatever you, whatever you believe in, trusting God, trusting the universe, trusting that the fact that this rejection is happening. I'm like, I want to, I don't want to take it personally. I feel like in the end it's if it's for the highest good and there's a reason for it. So even if it's my business, if it's my life, it's like, What do I keep just going against the wall and just like, ugh, it's not working out.

It's not working out. Then okay, like, you know, maybe this is actually redirection, right? So just something to consider and something that comes to my mind. I just want to share my heart a little bit today because I feel like also too, I know how lonely it can feel if you're, if you're going through this or if you've been through this.

It's just hard. It's very difficult. And my advice is hopefully finding people around you that can relate and that you can talk to and have a great supportive support system and going back to business. That's why also it's so important in business to have this support group and why I love my membership so much and things like that, because that is really my vision to create community.

And I know how important it is because entrepreneurship. can be lonely too. So let me tell you. So I just think I really, really hope and pray for you that you have that support system no matter what you're going through in your life. And I think I'll end here. I hope this was helpful in some way. And there you go.

Okay. I'll talk to you soon guys. Well, how do you feel? I hope you found value in today's episode and you walk away feeling inspired. I would love to hear from you. Let's link up. You can find me on Instagram at goldielinkssociety. You can find out more about our permanent jewelry membership at goldielinksociety.

com Our handmade permanent jewelry supplies of connectors chain and more at goldielinksupplies. com Okay, I will see you next time. Have a golden day